Brought to you by: The post Award-Winning Nature Documentary Films Itself By Random Chance appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—In a touching naturalization ceremony today, hundreds of legal immigrants took their oaths of allegiance to the United States and became legal American citizens after years of hard work, following the rules, and prayer.  The post Idiot Immigrants Enter Country Legally appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

MILLARD, DE—It was while the ax was dropping into his spleen that Tony Marcus realized a lifelong dream was coming true. He had been a fan of true crime podcasts for years but never dreamed he would get to be on one. Now, totally unexpectedly, it was happening. With each thud of the ax into his torso, his life was draining from his body and his wish list was filling up. The…

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WASHINGTON—Noting that an ounce of concern for the enfranchisement of citizens was crucial to the system of government, a consortium of political theorists confirmed Wednesday that a functional democracy generally requires at least one party to care about voting rights. “If you start from the premise that a…Read more...

OTTAWA – Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland released a statement late last night announcing an increase in funding for the Department of Defense. Further investigation revealed that the increase is a sudden 400% boost to the Canadian military budget, effective immediately. Freeland spoke to the press in the morning. “I was browsing some Canada memes yesterday […] The post Canada quietly quadruples…

with Sami Shah

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, local investigators with the FBI are absolutely flummoxed by a difficult murder case, since it's one of those rare crimes they didn't make up and stage themselves.  The post FBI Admits It’s Really Hard To Solve Crime They Didn’t Make Up Themselves appeared first on The Babylon Bee.

VENICE, CA—After a lifetime of trauma and abuse, Hunter Biden's laptop has finally checked itself into therapy for PTSD and other mental health issues. The post Having Seen Too Much, Hunter Biden's Laptop Checks Self Into Therapy appeared first on The Babylon Bee.